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"Then Noah built an altar to the Lord and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it. The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: 'Never again will I curse the ground'"

Genesis 8:20-21, Bible (NIV)


God: "I love the smell of burning animal flesh, it makes me feel a little more kind, and that's not weird for a superior deity, right?"




"The Lord said to him, 'Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon.' Abram brought all these to him, cut them in two..."

Genesis 15:9-10, Bible (NIV)


Biblical god demands the violent slaughter of living creatures.




"God said, 'Take your son, your only son, whom you love — Isaac — and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering'... He [Abraham] bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son."

Genesis 22:2-10, Bible (NIV)


Yahweh doesn't care how the poor kid will keep living with a dad who was willing to suddenly stab and grill him as a sacrifice per the command of an invisible friend.




"They [Moses and Aaron] said, 'The God of the Hebrews has met with us. Now let us take a three-day journey into the wilderness to offer sacrifices to the Lord our God, or he may strike us with plagues or with the sword.'"

Exodus 5:3, Bible (NIV)


God is addicted to sacrifices. He gets really angry and starts striking people down with plagues and swords when he doesn't get his fix.




"A foreigner residing among you who wants to celebrate the Lord's Passover must have all the males in his household circumcised."

Exodus 12:48, Bible (NIV)

"A foreigner residing among you is also to celebrate the Lord's Passover in accordance with its rules and regulations."

Numbers 9:14, Bible (NIV)


In God's craving for offerings, an option became an obligation for foreigners.




"The Lord killed the firstborn of both people and animals in Egypt. This is why I sacrifice to the Lord the first male offspring of every womb and redeem each of my firstborn sons."

Exodus 13:15, Bible (NIV)


The Lord led by example, killing people and animals in cold blood.




"Make an altar of earth for me [God] and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, your sheep and goats and your cattle. Wherever I cause my name to be honored, I will come to you and bless you."

Exodus 20:24, Bible (NIV)


Biblical god feels honored by animal slaughter. Such an archaic bloodthirsty deity is too primitive to be taken seriously.




"Do not hold back offerings... You must give me the firstborn of your sons. Do the same with your cattle and your sheep. Let them stay with their mothers for seven days, but give them to me on the eighth day."

Exodus 22:29-30, Bible (NIV)


God was really hungry for the blood of children — human and animal. But how kind of him to allow maternal bonding time before the sacrificial fire. Awww... To keep the voters, he allowed people to redeem firstborn sons.




"Moses then took the blood, sprinkled it on the people and said, 'This is the blood of the covenant that the Lord has made with you'"

Exodus 24:8, Bible (NIV)


Kill the animals, drain their blood and then sprinkle it on people... And they call Satanic rituals horrible.




"Take the other ram... Slaughter it, take some of its blood and put it on the lobes of the right ears of Aaron and his sons, on the thumbs of their right hands, and on the big toes of their right feet. Then splash blood against the sides of the altar."

Exodus 29:19-20, Bible (NIV)


Old God had an altar
And on his altar he had blood

With a splash splash here
And a 
splash splash there
Here a splash, there a splash
Everywhere a blood splash




"This is what you are to offer on the altar regularly each day: two lambs a year old... With the first lamb offer a tenth of an ephah of the finest flour mixed with a quarter of a hin of oil from pressed olives, and a quarter of a hin of wine as a drink offering. Sacrifice the other lamb at twilight with the same grain offering and its drink offering as in the morning — a pleasing aroma, a food offering presented to the Lord."

Exodus 29:38-41, Bible (NIV)


Primitive biblical God has an appetite for meat, wine, and "pleasing aromas".




"If the offering is a burnt offering from the herd, you are to offer a male"

Leviticus 1:3, Bible (NIV)

"When a leader sins unintentionally... he must bring as his offering a male goat... If any member of the community sins unintentionally... they must bring as their offering for the sin they committed a female goat"

Leviticus 4:22-28, Bible (NIV)


God draws a line between the sexes of animals to be burnt for him on various occasions.




"You are to lay your hand on the head of the burnt offering... You are to slaughter the young bull before the Lord, and then Aaron's sons the priests shall bring the blood and splash it against the sides of the altar at the entrance to the tent of meeting. You are to skin the burnt offering and cut it into pieces... and the priest is to burn all of it on the altar. It is a burnt offering, a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord."

Leviticus 1:4-9, Bible (NIV)


God must really enjoy this "kill-splash-skin-cut-burn-pleasing aroma" cycle. He repeats it over and over again for the next seven chapters.




"If someone brings a lamb as their sin offering... slaughter it... Then the priest shall take some of the blood of the sin offering with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering and pour out the rest of the blood at the base of the altar... and the priest shall burn it on the altar... In this way the priest will make atonement for them for the sin they have committed, and they will be forgiven."

Leviticus 4:32-35, Bible (NIV)


This is like killing your dog after you stole a candy bar because God won't forgive you otherwise. God has a twisted mind when it comes to imposing liabilities.




"If anyone becomes aware that they are guilty — if they unwittingly touch anything ceremonially unclean... or if they touch human uncleanness... or if anyone thoughtlessly takes an oath to do anything, whether good or evil... As a penalty for the sin they have committed, they must bring to the Lord a female lamb or goat from the flock as a sin offering"

Leviticus 5:2-6, Bible (NIV)


Dear Lamb/Goat, 
Your clumsy owner accidentally touched something or gave a promise too quickly. Now I want you to be stabbed to death and burnt on an altar. Please don't try to find any fairness or logic in this command. There is none. 




"Anyone who brings a fellowship offering to the Lord... they are to bring the fat, together with the breast, and wave the breast before the Lord as a wave offering."

Leviticus 7:28-30, Bible (NIV)


These sacrificial instructions look more like a weird pagan tribal ceremony instead of instructions from the Supreme Deity.




"When the days of her [new mother's] purification for a son or daughter are over, she is to bring to the priest at the entrance to the tent of meeting a year-old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or a dove for a sin offering. He shall offer them before the Lord to make atonement for her, and then she will be ceremonially clean from her flow of blood."

Leviticus 12:6-7, Bible (NIV)


The only means of reproduction God gave humans requires an atonement, so it's sinful. Therefore, he made sinning and sacrificing unavoidable, unless all humanity decides to willingly go extinct. Fair game.




"If they have been healed of their defiling skin disease... the priest shall order that one of the birds be killed over fresh water in a clay pot. He is then to take the live bird and dip it, together with the cedar wood, the scarlet yarn and the hyssop, into the blood of the bird that was killed over the fresh water... On the eighth day they must bring two male lambs and one ewe lamb a year old"

Leviticus 14:3-10, Bible (NIV)


God wants people to kill animals even when humans recover from diseases. It gets harder and harder to find life events in which God wouldn't want animals killed.




"The Lord said to Moses: 'Tell your brother Aaron that he is not to come whenever he chooses into the Most Holy Place behind the curtain in front of the atonement cover on the ark, or else he will die... This is how Aaron is to enter the Most Holy Place: he must first bring a young bull for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering... From the Israelite community he is to take two male goats for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering.'"

Leviticus 16:2-5, Bible (NIV)


Yahweh likes animal killing so much that he makes it one of the requirements for Aaron's entry into the Most Holy Place or he will die.




"Any Israelite who sacrifices an ox, a lamb or a goat in the camp or outside of it instead of bringing it to the entrance to the tent of meeting to present it as an offering to the Lord in front of the tabernacle of the Lord... must be cut off from their people. This is so the Israelites will bring to the Lord the sacrifices they are now making in the open fields. They must bring them to the priest, that is, to the Lord"

Leviticus 17:3-5, Bible (NIV)


God won't accept a sacrifice unless it is made through priests, and any person trying to bypass the priests must be exiled. Looks more like an attempt to increase traffic and food supply for the priests.




"You must not offer to the Lord an animal whose testicles are bruised, crushed, torn or cut."

Leviticus 22:24, Bible (NIV)


The condition of the testicles of sacrificial animals is very important to God.




"When you enter the land I am going to give you and you reap its harvest... you must sacrifice as a burnt offering to the Lord a lamb... a food offering presented to the Lord, a pleasing aroma — and its drink offering of a quarter of a hin of wine... seven male lambs... one young bull and two rams... one male goat... two lambs."

Leviticus 23:10-19, Bible (NIV)


To sum it up, God is really into animal killing:
you sinned — kill animals,
you are fine — kill animals,
you gave birth to a child — kill animals,
you recovered from a disease — kill animals,
you want to meet up with God — kill animals,
you reaped a harvest — kill animals,
you name it — kill animals.




"No devoted thing, that a man shall devote unto the Lord of all that he hath, both of man and beast, and of the field of his possession, shall be sold or redeemed: every devoted thing is most holy unto the Lord. None devoted, which shall be devoted of men, shall be redeemed; but shall surely be put to death." 

Leviticus 27:28-29, Bible (KJV)


Biblical god says humans designating other humans to be killed for him is fine. What is it, if not the endorsement of human sacrifice?




"When the altar was anointed, the leaders brought their offerings... For the Lord had said to Moses, 'Each day one leader is to bring his offering for the dedication of the altar.'... The total number of animals for the burnt offering came to twelve young bulls, twelve rams and twelve male lambs a year old, together with their grain offering. Twelve male goats were used for the sin offering. The total number of animals for the sacrifice of the fellowship offering came to twenty-four oxen, sixty rams, sixty male goats and sixty male lambs a year old."

Numbers 7:10-88, Bible (NIV)


God is the master host of butcher parties, he enjoyed watching 252 large animals be killed just to mark the anointing of the altar for him.




"If anyone who is ceremonially clean and not on a journey fails to celebrate the Passover, they must be cut off from their people for not presenting the Lord's offering at the appointed time."

Numbers 9:13, Bible (NIV)


Offerings are so necessary for God that he wants to exile those failing to satisfy his hunger.




"You must not redeem the firstborn of a cow, a sheep or a goat; they are holy. Splash their blood against the altar and burn their fat as a food offering, an aroma pleasing to the Lord."

Numbers 18:17, Bible (NIV)


God is hooked on "pleasing aroma", so he left some animals unredeemable to ensure an uninterrupted flow of it. Maybe that's the secret reason he created hell, so he could forever smell the burning flesh of billions of bodies.




"The Lord said to Moses, 'Give this command to the Israelites and say to them: "Make sure that you present to me at the appointed time my food offerings, as an aroma pleasing to me." Say to them: "This is the food offering you are to present to the Lord: two lambs a year old without defect, as a regular burnt offering each day."'"

Numbers 28:1-3, Bible (NIV)


In addition to this daily offering, God keeps going for two more chapters on how many animals should be killed for him to mark different annual festivals to keep his pleasing aroma addiction satisfied.




"The Lord spake unto Moses, saying, take the sum of the prey that was taken, both of man and of beast... and levy a tribute unto the Lord... and give it unto Eleazar the priest, for an heave offering of the Lord... The booty, being... thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him... the Lord's tribute was thirty and two persons."

Numbers 31:25-40, Bible (KJV)


God commanded to sacrifice 32 virgins for him as a heave offering along with plenty of animals. Classic.




"The blood of your sacrifices must be poured beside the altar of the Lord your God"

Deuteronomy 12:27, Bible (NIV)


Imagine how rotten and unsanitary was the area beside the "holy altar" with blood from countless animals daily poured on it.




"If someone is found slain, lying in a field... and it is not known who the killer was... Then the elders of the town nearest the body shall take a heifer... lead it down to a valley... break the heifer's neck... wash their hands over the heifer... and they shall declare: 'Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it done.'"

Deuteronomy 21:1-7, Bible (NIV)


You'd think God would help identify the killer, but no, he prefers watching a heifer get killed. What does the poor heifer have to do with an unsolved murder? Nothing. It's seen only as a thing to be used for a superstitious death ritual. Such an attitude eliminates any compassion. The Bible promotes treating animals like disposable things, but they're not.




"The Spirit of the Lord came on Jephthah... he advanced against the Ammonites. And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord: 'If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering'... And the Lord gave them into his hands... When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of timbrels!... And he did to her as he had vowed."

Judges 11:29-39, Bible (NIV)


God gladly accepted this human sacrifice of a child. God didn't try to stop Jephthah or express any concerns. Given the record of God's reactions to events he didn't like in the Old Testament, he would kill some folks if he had anything against this sacrifice.




"Solomon offered a sacrifice of fellowship offerings to the Lord: twenty-two thousand cattle and a hundred and twenty thousand sheep and goats. So the king and all the Israelites dedicated the temple of the Lord."

1 Kings 8:63, Bible (NIV)


Try to imagine that. 142,000 large animals were pointlessly killed to mark the dedication of the temple for God, who was very pleased by rivers of blood from this "celebration".




"Solomon went up to the bronze altar before the Lord in the tent of meeting and offered a thousand burnt offerings on it. That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, 'Ask for whatever you want me to give you.'"

2 Chronicles 1:6-7, Bible (NIV)


It takes the burning of 1000 animals to trigger God to fulfill a wish. How does the rest of the price list look?




"They slaughtered the bulls, and the priests took the blood and splashed it against the altar; next they slaughtered the rams and splashed their blood against the altar; then they slaughtered the lambs and splashed their blood against the altar.... then slaughtered the goats... The animals consecrated as sacrifices amounted to six hundred bulls and three thousand sheep and goats... So the service of the temple of the Lord was reestablished."

2 Chronicles 29:22-35, Bible (NIV)


Splashing the blood of thousands of animals to reinstate the service of God's temple tells a lot about him.




"Consider this, you who forget God, or I will tear you to pieces, with no one to rescue you: those who sacrifice thank offerings honor me"

Psalm 50:22-23, Bible (NIV)


God will tear you to pieces if you don't honor him by tearing animals to pieces in senseless sacrifices.





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